Many families have traditions–precious objects handed down from one generation to the next, the passing down of a name, and rites of passage. I, too, have a birthright. From the moment I was born, it was known that one fateful day I would assume control of the family business, Munkeyworks Inc.
It all started in 1787 at an opium den in London. To attract more customers, the "Corpulent Dragon Opium Den" had started hosting squid fights on the first Tuesday of every month. It was here that my great-great-great-great-great-grandfather, Cecil Munkey, met wealthy business owner Thelonius von Kickering. Thelonius had made his fortune in buying and selling exotic animal pelts. Over a shared ivory opium pipe, the two made a wager on the squid fight. If Cecil won, Thelonius would turn over his company and all assets to Cecil. If Thelonius von Kickering won, Cecil would be forced to share the formula for his immortality elixir. Truth be told,Cecil did not possess a secret to immortality. He simply sold a concoction of ambergris and sea water as an anti-aging tonic, known as "Dr. Cornfellow’s Anti-Death Elixir."
Cecil, having drugged the opposing squid prior to the fight, was victorious. Thelonius von Kickering was a man of his word and immediately turned over all assets and holdings to Cecil. Additionally, he purchased the last name "von Kickering" from a very distraught Thelonius in exchange for another pipe of opium. The next day Cecil changed his last name to "von Kickering" and the company name to "Munkeyworks."
Shortly after taking control of Munkeyworks, Cecil chose to move all operations to America and deal exclusively in werewolf furs. Sadly, he had underestimated the marketability of a coat one could wear only during the full moon, after which the coat would revert back to human skin. This would prove to be the first in a long line of failures Munkeyworks would endure.
Since then, the cursed company has weathered a 221-year storm of misfortune, malfeasance, and failed products. Since 1788, control of the company has been handed down from father to son. I took control of the company on January 1st, 2009 and have no intentions of running the company like those before me. Instead, I choose to exploit the past.